Friday, August 24, 2007

Photoshop Freddie

Did you know that Freddie Mercury designed The Queen logo? I didn't!

The 'crest' features the band's star signs - two fairies for Virgo, a crab for Cancer and two lions for the two Leos.

Deacon, Taylor and May must have been rather surprised when Freddie got his iBook out and showed them what he had Mac'd up.

I also enjoy the fact that Freddie, being Virgo, choose to use 2 fairies to represent the star sign. Google says the other fairy was a young George Michael. Well i never did.

I am the invisible man, aiiiiiiiii.

StrutterStrutter

There is no better thing in the world than sticking 2 very good ideas together to make something even more better and good.

Here, they have taken Mike Strutter and Sat Nav and created this...

Mike Strutter shouts offensive commands to you all the way home. It is simply a delight.

Get it here if you want it.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Up a gum tree

I picked up a paper on the train this morning and started to read this story of an Aussie bloke who had gone into the outback and ended up climbing up a tree to escape from a croc nest.

Anyway, he was up the tree for 7 days trying to avoid the big gobbed chaps below.

He did very well and survived to get his work published.

Whilst up the tree and whilst believing he was going to die he etched some poignant words to his son, they published these words.

Now, on reading these words i couldn't for the life of me work out what the chopper pilots were. 'blind p*****'?

It was like Blankity Blank! It took me at least 4 attempts to work out.

Cheque book and pen anyone!

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Pole to Pole


I have a new idea for Michael Palin. Michael, if you are reading this, the idea is that you go around Londons pubs drinking with the Polish barstaff.

Each show lasts an hour, in which time we hear about that specific member of staff, what brought them to England. We could even meet their family, perhaps do a bit of a 'This is your Life' where we bring their family over, surprise them.

There could also be a cooking slot where we go into the kitchen of the pub, and the pub chef attempts to cook an authentic Polish dish, using only burgers, a pasta and garlic bread (with cheese). Website could have the recipes ideas.

Michael also talks about Poland and educates us, that way we know more about them and where they are from and can spark up a conversation when we order our drinks.

I have sent a brief outline to Mark Thompson at the BBC. He hasn't been in touch yet but sure email is in the post.

Monday, August 13, 2007

Good Branding idea?

I happened to be watching some politics show over the weekend and John Sergeant's funny like face appeared, he was talking about something to do with something or other that didn't really interest me.

Anyway, i was watching the chap talk and it suddenly came to my attention that he has exactly the same manorisms as Jo Brand. Then, after realising this it dawned on me that he looks exactly the same as Jo Brand! Good lord i thought

Then, i had an idea.

Maybe for a Comic Relief type occasion, or maybe not, wouldn't it be super if he and Jo Brand swapped for a day or two. So John would be on stage up in Edinburgh doing a show that Jo wrote, and Jo would be outside House's of P reporting on the damage a certain MP is doing to his party due to his undying urge to hang around Clapham Common.

I think this could be ace.

There will loads more out there i am sure. For example, Oliver does the rounds talking about what it was like to work with Leonard Nimoy, and Shatner gets on and cooks us up a nice treat using loads of pork and a pukka bouquet garni.

'There are two types of people in this world, one who opens a packet of biscuits, has one and puts the rest back in the cupboard, and one who eats the whole packet in one go'.

Come on Jo, lets have some more gags about how fat you are, i promise, that idea is not wearing thin at all.

Wednesday, August 8, 2007

R.E.S.T.E.C.P!!

I was in The Butcher & Grill this morning. For those not in the know it is a fine fine meat Emporium down here in Battersea, you basically go their to eat our bovine brothers and sisters.

Anyway, we were just having a coffee.

After enjoying my coffeee (latte) i visited the lavatory and was confronted by photos of bulls and cows and live meat.

I found this all rather odd. Generally of an evening i would go to The Butcher & Grill and eat loads of meat, then, probably, would need to either A, Urinate or 2, Deficate. This would then bring me face to face with the animals i have just shoved down my throat.

Now i know that alot of people would say that i am disrespecting the big brutes by eating them, but having to look into their cute little eyes at this prominent time is just to much for me. They should perhaps have little speech bubbles on the images saying stuff like;

'Did you enjoying my shoudler?'

'How was i?'

'Was i worth it?'

'Have you met my son?'

I wonder if it was a clever gorilla campagin on behalf of the Vegetarian Society?. If so it wasn't a very good gorilla campaign on behalf of the Vegetarian Society as i then went out at lunchtime and purchased a pork pie. Moooooo'zik to my mouth.

Butcher & Grill, please continue your great meat based work, however, please remove pictures of your victims from your toilet wall.

Tuesday, August 7, 2007

Rachel Stevens is dead!

Going home last night i saw this!

I am sure she was voted FHM number 1 hottie in the world everest several years running, and now she is advertising Dailies contact lenses.

Her Mother i am sure is still very very proud.

'Rach, i saw you on the Dailies posters last night, your Dad said how well you looked, are you sure you can afford to come home at the weekend, Dad said he'd pay'

S Club her to death someone, poor poor thing, put he out of her misery.

Thursday, August 2, 2007

That was quick!

(only read this if you have seen Heroes as i have)

I have seen the first 4 episodes of Heroes, and although i hate TV, i am more than happy to be watching a TV program that doesn't have any sodding Doctors in. Well done them.

Anyways, i was on my way to work this morning, catching the 8.12am Surbiton to Clapham Junction Express and felt some strange time gap continuum nonsense going on. Didn't really think much of it until i looked across the carriage and saw this!

'Well i never did' i thought to myself.

I only hope he didn't have a rummage in my draws as we were all frozen in time.

I think i will continue to watch the show for now hoping that the Surbiton to Clapham Junction Express will not appear in one of the paintings that the funny looking chap paints.

Get back to work.

Fat pukka!


I was in Waitrose last night and saw this on the front of the Radio Times!

What in heavens name has happened to poor Jamie Oliver?

He has turned into a wax work of William Shatner

If this is what eating fresh tipped asparagus from Sainsburys does to a man then get me some turkey twizzlers!

And i also in no way doctored his eyes in this photo.

Poor old Jools and the kids.

Beam him up Scotty!